The wind is deceptively chilly. I watch my colourful bundle rapidly zoom across the playground turf. His chattering a sound I can’t imagine living without anymore. It’s the sound of delight. And the sound of frustration.
These are my days now. Chores crammed into nap times. Changing nappies and cooking baby food. Thinking for two. Tidying up in vain. Trying to keep up. Hours in the park, rescuing bits of artificial turf and dried leaves from the inquisitive mouth of my son.
Too often I slip into a state of boredom. Tired of the repetitiveness. Failing to find meaning at the bottom of the toy box.
I zip my jacket up to my chin as the wind cuts through me.
I watch my son in wonder as he tastes and feels and examines and touches and delights. He isn’t fussed by the icy gust. This is his gift to me. I get to be present. Watchful. Delighted and changed by his journeys of discovery.
As I watch him I get to see the world through his eyes. The way we all saw it once. We have long forgotten this newness of life. Buried deep under layers of responsibility and sensibility and grown-up-ness. We don’t have the time to linger and soak up and be captivated by this life that has lost its freshness and novelty… Eroded by the years, dulled by the wearying pilgrimage.
And I remember an old song I learnt in the days of endless coffee dates with friends and movie marathons and Saturday sleep ins.
“The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases; His mercies never come to an end. They are new every morning, new every morning. Great is Your faithfulness oh Lord, great is Your faithfulness.”
They are new every morning.
Not new in the sense of recently coming into existence… No. They are endless and timeless and unwavering. They are new because I get to rediscover their beauty and fullness over and over again. They can’t be used up, they don’t wither or lose strength. They are as potent and good on the day of my birth as they are on every other day – until I take my last breath.
On the playground of life, despite the icy gusts that come, I can giggle delightedly EVERY day anew when I gaze upon the amazing love and mercy of God.